A guy asked me out to coffee recently. “Cool,” you may think I said in response. After all, I haven’t had a date in 2.5 years. (But who’s counting)

This is the thing…I would’ve loved to have met him for coffee because he was one of the first guys who interested me on this online dating site. I really wanted to go out with him but I waited because I had not heard from him in several weeks. Ehemmm 🗣Where ya been, sir!?

Anyway, he asked me out to coffee after weeks before saying he wanted to take me to a Japanese steakhouse in my area. Oh no, make no mistake. He did not forget that he invited me to the steakhouse weeks before because he even mentioned it over the phone. 🤔 So, days went by with no contact. The ball was in my court so to speak but I never called him with my availability.

Sistas, please hear me out. We are more valuable than a cup of coffee ☕️ vs. a steak 🥩 dinner. Come on now! Somehow I got downgraded to a Starbucks. LOL

We have got to know our worth.

Know your worth, then make your decisions. Don’t make decisions without recognizing and cherishing your worth. You are valuable. You are of great worth. You are loved by an Almighty God who can do exceedingly and abundantly above anything you can ask, think or even imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

If you don’t know your worth, ask your loved ones. Talk to those friends you’ve known for a long time. They know you. Write down those affirmations people have given you over the years. Note what characteristics you love about yourself. And most importantly, read what God says about you in His Word.

• You are a royal priesthood. I Peter 2:9
• You are the apple of God’s eye. Zechariah 2:8
• No one can take you from Him. John 10:28-30
• You can never be separated from God’s love. Romans 8:35-39
• You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
• You are loved and worth dying for. John 3:16
• You are not alone. Hebrews 13:5

There are many more things God has said about you. Everything God made is good – that means you were designed perfectly by a perfect God. He broke the mold when He made you, girl.

You are a woman of great worth. And don’t you forget it!

Vernicia T. Eure Founder of S.T.E.P. Consulting Group
Creator of Stepping Into Purity and Beyond

My mother was a New York fashion model in the late 1940’s. My daughter is a New York fashion photographer, and I’ve spent my whole life in the beauty business.

I know how to polish “diamonds in the rough,” and I know how to make “plain” people look attractive.

I’ve seen models turn anorexic and almost die. I’ve seen girls who never had a date in high school become covergirls. I’ve seen people with incredible potential go nowhere from a lack of confidence. I’ve seen popular girls enjoy the spotlight… too much.

I also know what it’s like to feel ugly. I was the fat daughter of a beautiful mother. I weighed 290 pounds when I was 16– and eventually peaked at 360 pounds on my 36th birthday.

I know what it’s like to be transformed, by losing 220 pounds and keeping them off for 25 years… through the grace of a God Who helped me, even before I knew His Son.

Here’s the thing about beauty: Everybody’s got it. It’s not fickle, because God’s not fickle. It’s not a certain size, look, weight, hairstyle or outfit. It’s confidence found in Christ. It’s sparkle in your eyes. It’s kindness in your smile. It’s pep in your step.

Yes, polish helps the shine, because beauty can be covered… but the glow is still there, waiting to brighten every place you go.

What I’d like to say to girls reading this post: In God’s Eyes, you’re already a masterpiece. When you begin to see yourself the way God sees you, your own transformation will happen. Your outside will begin to reflect your inside- which reflects Christ. You’ll feel more confident. You’ll radiate.

This isn’t Christian mumbo jumbo. It’s biblical truth, and I offer you some worldly proof. Think about it: You’ve seen girls and ladies others might not call “attractive”, but they’re hanging with the coolest guys. How? They’re confident, and their boyfriends or husbands see them the same way God does.

When you transform your thinking, God will transform both you and your circumstances.

Carey Lewis


careylewis.us

Carey Lewis is the founder of a world recognized talent development ministry, called Actors, Models & Talent for Christ (AMTC). From 1982-2018, AMTC scouted, coached and launched thousands of performers into film, fashion, music and theatre. Carey has won two Lifetime Achievement Awards for her contributions to the cause of Christ in arts and entertainment. She speaks, counsels and writes daily devotions geared to the media generation, and those called to influence it with light, love and truth. Check her out at careylewis.us or https://www.facebook.com/CareyLewisOfficial/

I pray that prayer almost daily, because there are so many conflicting voices that surround and confuse and violate what I know God says about me.

Beautiful soul, if you’re anything like me, you have given in to believing lies about yourself way too many times.

Sometimes these lies are ingrained in us, we are raised to unconsciously believe they are true, whether by cultural or family influences, and it can get so confusing to discern what is true and what is false. Sometimes these lies come direct from the mouths of people. People who mattered to you. People you thought you mattered to. People you trusted. “GOOD” people. People with influence and power. Sometimes these lies play on a loop in your head like a bad pop song. Anyone else? #toxic

I know some of you are nodding your heads in agreement right now with well-meaning judgement and validation, but let me rain on that parade for a sec…

We can so easily blame those that planted those seeds of lies in us, all the negative words and criticism they deposited into us – and it feels better to blame – I know. BUT it’s not their fault. They are human, too. Humans that have chosen to believe their own lies about themselves at one point or another.

Humans that probably don’t even remember most of the words they said to you that you allowed to lay the groundwork for your entire self image.

We don’t get to blame them for feeding us these lies. WE are the ones who made the decision to believe them. We are the ones who made them our truth, who elevated their words above God’s word – even when we have the knowledge of and the access to THE truth of what He says about us.

We are not responsible for what is said to us or about us, but we are completely responsible for what we do with it.

The power isn’t in the words it’s in the soil they fall on. Just like we can’t control the rain, we can’t control the words that are spoken to us, but we can decide if we are going to let them take root, or head straight to Lowe’s for some round up because ain’t nobody got time for those entangling lies of the enemy. Those weeds are deadly.

It’s easy to weed out the obvious voices. The instagram “haters” you don’t even know in real life. That friend who doesn’t live her life in a way that you would ever take advice from her… but it gets so tricky when the lies come from the mouths of those you thought you trusted.

Never confuse the voice of authority or critics with the voice of God. If it brings negativity, self doubt, confusion, insecurity, fear, and shame…. hold it up to the word of God.

It’s one thing if God uses leaders to bring along conviction, but He will never use someone to bring condemnation. My God did not come to shame and belittle, but to SAVE, and REDEEM.

If those words don’t hold up to that standard…

PLUCK. THEM. WEEDS.

Repeat after me, dear friends:

I am a child of God.
I am loved by Him for nothing more or less than simply being HIS.
My identity is in Him and Him alone.
I do not need to impress.
I do not need to convince.
I am worthy because of the price He paid.
I am whole and complete because I have Christ.
Jesus + nothing = everything.

He has completely redeemed my past and He has plenty of grace for my future.
He knows I am going to mess up again and again, and His love and mercy are not lessened by the knowledge of that.
He knows the hurt I have, and the bitter, hard edges of my heart that still have yet to be softened.
His faithfulness is not based on my perfection, performance, or progress report.
He has already called me, chosen me, and is using me for His glory.
I am anointed, again, not because of my perfection, but because of HIS.
The only thing I need to pursue is Him.
The only thing I need to chase is Him.
The only approval I need comes from Him.
If I keep my eyes and heart on Him and Him alone, He keeps me close.
If I fail, He doesn’t remove His anointing, His protection, His leadership, His faithfulness, or His grace from my life.
He knows my heart, and while He will reveal the areas that need healing and restoration, He will not punish me for being a work in progress. My rough edges do not shock Him. My obedience to God is not the same thing as my obedience to men. And my relationship with God is direct access, no going around loopholes and through others. He wants to spend time with ME. At church, but also in my car and in the Starbucks line. He wants to speak to ME. Through pastors, sure, but also right directly to my heart with His gentle, yet undeniable whisper.

I am not responsible for any one else’s insecurity. I was not born to please everyone. I was not placed on this earth to keep a thousand plates spinning perfectly in order gain everyone’s fleeting approval.
God calls me His own. He chose me. Not like that last-one-picked-in-kickball-again kind of choosing, but a rolling-out-the-red-carpet kind of celebratory choosing.
He looks at me with the joy and pride of a loving father. And there is nothing I can do in my human strength to change that.

God, I have a CHOICE to reject the lies from the enemy and believe your truth, and I know that the truth will set me FREE.
I am who YOU say I am.
Loved.
Called.
Worthy.
Enough.
Daughter (or son) of the one true king, the only one deserving of all the glory and power and honor and praise.

God, you made me ME for a reason, and I will stop trying to fit into a mold you never shaped me for. I surrender to you, and I believe what you say of me.
Amen.

I think it’s about time we put more stock in the truth of what He says about us than in the words of the humans who have hurt us.

What lies have you believed or held on to? Is it time to call them out and take away their power? I think so.

Alisha Mitchell

Iʼve always loved fashion. If you know me you know I love thrift stores and hand me downs and can be found quoting, “Donʼt let your clothes rule you.” Call me a rebel, but there is just a thrill of cutting and shaping my wardrobe to fit what looks pretty on me rather than being confined to the rules of how they ‘should be wornʼ.

From the time I can remember I had an eye for it. My mom used to tease me that I was notorious for finding the most expensive item in a store without even trying. Since I was young fashion plates were my jam and keeping an eye on the latest styles and trends was a must for me. I wasnʼt ever the most popular girl. I didnʼt even fit in because I was both extremely tall and overweight, but somehow fashion eased some of that for me. As a young girl one of my favorite events was dressing up in my Nanaʼs fancy tweed skirts, high heels, scarves, and hats. The best part was sitting at her vanity in front of the big oval mirror and opening all the drawers of jewelry box treasures and trying all of them on. As I looked in that mirror at the finished look—my huge clip-on earrings squeezing my earlobes—I remember feeling like a queen. It was magical feeling that free and lovely in this temporary new version of me.

One of the challenges I faced was finding “cool” clothes that fit me. Years back there were not exceptions for my body size or trendy clothing lines for ‘bigger girlsʼ. It was a label I could not escape and led to lots of tears,  anxiety, shame and often wanting to hide at an early age. I had a problem with how my body looked, and it deeply affected how I saw myself. I listened to the culture, and I looked to others for my image. How could I be made in the image of God with a world that didnʼt have a mold for me to fit into? Fashion seemed to help mask the wounded parts and soften the blows of relentless questions about what grade I was really in or why I was so big for my age. Underneath it all, when I really looked at myself in the mirror, I wanted so badly to be someone else. I wanted to be that petite, pretty, confident girl who seemed to feel blissful in her skin and warm the hearts of those around her. At times I felt like I had a ‘diseaseʼ that I just had to live with, and I didnʼt think God cared or could use it for anything good. Good thing I didnʼt know the end.

The questions for all of us become, “What if we dictated fashion as an outward expression of an inward beauty instead of it dictating us? Better yet, what if we could know our unique body type, skin color and style was for a beautiful purpose and live in the comfort of our own skin? What if looking and feeling our best was not only when we got all dressed up or were the ‘perfect sizeʼ but how we felt everyday?”

Many years later, I still love fashion. However, my whole belief system and image of myself is brand new because of a God who was not afraid to walk me thru my shame, insecurity and self loathe. Its a forever dance we play but He never gets tired of me and my whispers of the same doubts. The Bible says “We all with unveiled faces reflect the Lordʼs glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory.” (2 Corinthians 3Z18). There is no distinction of color, size, age, beauty, culture or status.

So if there is truly nothing more beautiful than God and we are called to reflect that beauty, then maybe what the world really needs is what we already have. The Truth is we already possess all the beauty and confidence we need. It has been there since the beginning. If we believe that then maybe—just maybe—we can chose to dictate fashion instead of it defining or dictating us.

-Sandra Coates

Sandra Coates

Sandra is a RN and works with women in unplanned pregnancies. She is also a pastor’s wife, women’s ministry leader, speaker and model. She is passionate about every woman knowing her God given beauty and living confident and free. Read more about Sandra.